There is certainly a danger associated with isolation when one is recovering from addictive behavior. Sitting alone with our thoughts can put us at risk of reaching for our preferred method of escape, especially during the early part of our recovery.

Personal experience has led me to believe that there is also a time when isolation can be beneficial for our continued sobriety. Here’s my story.

I quit smoking marijuana about five months ago after a decade of daily excessive use. A couple of years ago, I quit for nearly four months (17 weeks) but relapsed after thinking “maybe just this once” for the new year. Approaching the 17-week mark again, I found myself more and more triggered, and fearful that I would fall back into old patterns.

SuperHealth teachings recommend finding an external support system of at least three people who are substance free to help us through the healing process. For me, this was difficult because everyone in my life is a regular marijuana user. It became triggering to be around people. I became reactive and resistant to all of those I love.

Reaching the desire to isolate

I felt resentful when friends showed up at my home, reeking of smoke and incapable of being present with me. I felt betrayed when my spouse wanted to indulge while we were spending time together. It was irritating when I’d visit someone, only to find everyone in the room smoking while I struggled to avoid relapse.

I felt like an outsider with no connection to my loved ones. My passive aggressive nature reappeared, anger spilled out of me, and I struggled to resist lashing out at them for not joining me. I knew this wasn’t appropriate and that everyone has their own timeline and healing journey, so I decided it was time for me to take a step back to avoid burning bridges and pushing away the people I love.

I knew had to go into isolation to reconnect with myself, remind myself why I embarked on this healing journey, and find acceptance. I let my loved ones know of my intention to consciously isolate. I set boundaries, letting them know in a loving way why I had to do this, reassuring them it wasn’t personal and that I would reach out when ready.

Reconnecting through isolation

At the beginning, I felt very heavy, and was carrying so much anger and sadness that it was difficult to do much of anything. I started with a simple routine, choosing the 40-day Siri Gaitri healing meditation as my daily sadhana practice. If I could manage that every day, I would be proud of myself.

Over time, my connection to myself strengthened and I was finally feeling the desire to engage in activities that made me happy. A few weeks into isolation, I was doing puzzles, playing around with my electronics, enjoying video games, reading, settling into my home more by unpacking my crystals, hanging paintings and getting back into a regular workout routine.

Spending some time away from the energy of others enabled me to release what was not mine. I was able to feel my own essence, and reconnect with my creative and playful side. My mood improved and I was motivated to deepen my healing.

I brought journaling into my daily routine. I have a couple of shadow workbooks with daily prompts, so began working through some of my old wounds and traumas by responding to each of them. This created a space for me to think about what led to my downward spiral and how to avoid it in the future.

During isolation, I revisited SuperHealth: Practices and Principles. It helped me see that what I was going through was simply the process of healing from long term substance use, and that there were many things I could do to feel better. I couldn’t find it in me to start using the methods while I was in full chaos, but the time in isolation allowed me to start doing a kriya here and there and begin healing in my own time.

Resurfacing

I did not go into this isolation with an expectation or deadline of when to finish. With time, I felt a stronger desire to reconnect with others. I let this be my indicator that it was time to resurface and join the rest of the world.

This was a slow and gradual process. I am far from healed, but no longer feel disconnected from myself and reactive to everything that anyone says to me. I now have more patience with myself and others and am optimistic that everything will be okay.

Some people will benefit from the alone time more than others. It is up to the individual to determine whether a conscious isolation is in their best interest.

I want to emphasize that as I was getting back into a regular routine and incorporating wellness techniques, I had every intention of being consistent but was not overly strict. If I didn’t have the energy to workout, I listened to my body and took a break without feeling discouraged.

Be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Cherry pick the methods that work best for your schedule and lifestyle without overwhelming yourself. All progress is good progress, no matter how small. Ultimately, you are the only one who knows what works best for you.

How Isolation Can Be Beneficial in Recovery

Reaching the desire to isolate

Reconnecting through isolation

Resurfacing